A new woman

There are certainly those who are wondering what I'm doing? My father passed away when he was 50 years old. He has been overweight for as long as I can remember. At its peak, if I remember correctly, he weighed 167kg. In 2004, did father a gastric banding and went down to 118 kg. Unfortunately hjäpte not there, the body had already taken a beating from all obesity. My father died after a heart operation (February 2005). I waited all day on the call that would confirm my suspicions. In retrospect, I blame myself for not seeing the signals. I heard repeatedly by dad girl, dad is very bad ....
The last few weeks before operating dad died, he told me he thought he would die in the night. I listened,
but did not answer him. Thought courses with me revolved around his young age and that he talked a lot of nonsense.
When I visited my father I did not see that he was poor, because he sat most of the time in which he used to sit. But time after stomach surgery and my father became more mobile was a glorious time. My father could play football with me and the kids and I was so happy (and others activities). I can say I'm lying if I said that my father became sedentary the last time in his life, for he did not. When I was not in place, he took the car and did what he loved to do, play bridge and more.
The truth dawned on me in January 2005. Dad, me and the kids went to Stockholm to visit at Disney Ice in the Globe. While it was my happiest day was my saddest day. I have worked in healthcare for almost 20 years and have a long learned to see the signals when it's time to leave Earth.
When my father shut the door to his apartment began to spin his eyes and he leaned his head against the wall. He swerved into the stairwell and well in the streets of Stockholm. I have never been as scared as I was when I went with him, I thought he would fall at any time and fall together. After this date, I began to prepare myself for the facts that I would lose my beloved father. I realized that this would never go the way, it was a horrible time.
Many years ago I decided to never weigh over 100kg. What am I afraid of? I am afraid to cross the one hundred mark, after which it will go downhill, that is I get up in his father's weight and can not do anything about it. What I mean is that I simply have become too heavy.
Between 2005 and 2008, I went down about 25 kg. When I began working at nursing homes went up in weight, I did not look at me the same extent as in home care. Then I decided to once again lose weight and lost 18kg.
In December 2011 I graduated (distance learning), where the outcome of the study is to gain weight. Several years ago I decided also to become a new woman, the day I fill 40y.o. and where do we stand now.
Someone asks for certain whether I will succeed? The answer is yes, I have decided it ......